Chin-up on the avalanche warning sign at Cerro Tronador, Argentina.

STORIES: I'm definitely not the just-back-from-eight-months-abroad,
lived-the-whole-time-off-my-penknife-
and-a-scavenged-banana-peel adventurer type -- more the one who follows along behind those people, wishing I were at home with a cup of tea, wondering aloud about isn't it getting awfully dark and do you think there are many poisonous snakes here and holy crap, did you hear that primal scream from the wilderness? Nonetheless, I do like to write about these things when I get home, if for no other reason than to shame my traveling companions to their spouses. A few of the adventures here are accounts of wilderness trips undertaken by me and my friend Mark as we attempt to make up for youthful miscalculations while also attempting not to get eaten by bears. (These trips were mostly Mark's ideas.) The rest are just random things that happened to me. I didn't make them up. Note that these trail off around 2004; that's not because I stopped wandering, but rather because all my adventures were going into my book about the life, times, and travels of Charles Darwin. (Darwin worried about primal screams from the wilderness, too.)

• San Francisco: The incredibly pleasant 30th birthday Bay Area death hike from hell
  

  (May 2010)

• Tierra del Fuego: Traveling to the southernmost end of the world
  

  (November 2004)

• Torres del Paine: Beginning to see the light
  

  (October 2004)

• Espiritu Pampa: My death trek through Inca history
  

  (August 2004)

• Alaska Cruise: An ethnographic study of the cruise shrimps in the mist
  

  (May 2004)

• Tahoe? What possible dangers can there be in TaaaaAAAAHHHHHHHH! (noise of me falling off cliff)
  

  (August 2002)

• Alaska: Mark and I go backpacking, eat fish and play with grizzly bears
  

  (September 2001)

• The itsy-bitsy spider crawled up the reporter's neck
  

  (July 2001)

• Wyoming: Here comes the sun, and I say, it's all right
  

  (August 1999)